names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
