I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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