Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You just made me feel so damn special
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
