Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
