Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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