Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
