I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
