Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
