We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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