I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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