i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
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ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
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Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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