How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
