hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
