I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
