Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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