why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
