I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
