oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
