He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize