So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize