Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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