OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
