The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
