You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
