Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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