either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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