I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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