I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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