I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
