i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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