my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
