I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
