At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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