I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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