i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
they need to just BURY HIM!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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