I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
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