Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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