you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
