you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
