So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
