the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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