You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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