Do you still have your period?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize