I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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