my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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