shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
