Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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