So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
