I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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