We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
