How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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