oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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