can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
