you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
