Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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