My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
