my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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