god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i believe in u and ur pee
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