I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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