I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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