Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
