you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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