operation harelip BJ is a go
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
