ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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