Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
