dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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