Will you blow on my dice?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
