My nipple is on Facebook.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She's just so happy...and so naked.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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