I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
